sopping & shopping

One more semester put to an end followed by celebrations.
The last two days seem to have evaporated in a tizzy filled with shopping and shopping and more shopping. I am a self-confessed shopaholic :: Bath & Body works, Gap, Victoria secrets.

After two days of utter uselessness, I am back on track to sopping which is incidentally shopping without 'h'. This does not make any sense, attributed to the fact that this post is being scripted at 2 am in the night.

"Indians are known for their intellectual arrogance"

----something along these lines by Guru charan Das

I can not agree more!

Just a background to it. I have been reading "India Unbound" for the last couple of days and immensely enjoying it. Not to mention that it is about the same time that the finals are up. I have started taking an interest in history and politics , which is a great transformation for someone like me who prided on being apolitical. I don't know if it is for good or bad, though.

Negotiations ?

I was reading about the latest debate on if India should fall on its knees and succumb to the demands of terrorists or stoutly refuse to negotiate. 10 terrorists, 200 killed and more than 350 injured. 26th November's terrorist attack on Mumbai saw a change in the attitude of India towards negotiations with attackers. It stuck to No deal, unlike IC-814 's hijack incident , during which 155 hostages were traded for 3 militants. Just a thought , possibly those three militants released were responsible for the recent terror attacks ? you never know. To think of it, 200 precious lives have been lost but possibly agreeing to the demands of terrorists would have warranted us terror attacks galore in future. Summing it up, I I am impressed with the only sane government's decision of not ceding to terrorists requests.

Why are terrorists not killed the moment they are arrested in order to avoid any hostage situation- A Wednesday

26th november: 10 am, EST: I took a lab reading and thereafter fell prey to the tormenting tensions. I slept and woke up around 2 pm in the afternoon only to learn about the terrorist attacks in CST and leopold cafe. Little did I know that it would eventually turn into one of the Mumbai's worst tragedies.

Lives have been lost.
India's security personnel braved and risked their lives to fight the terror.
Some of the top notch cop officials have died fighting for this cause (A salute to every fighting soldier)
Political leadership failed.
The political blame game continued to exist.
Iconic Taj blazed away in front of everyone's eyes
Media showed videos elucidating Mumbai's resilient spirit.

I like most of the mumbaites rather indians, have been angered, sweared at politicians, complained about the inadequacy of the system and scared by the vulnerability of country.

I just hope that this anger does not subside like evry other time and translates into a collective action towards beefing up the security of our country.. I just hope..

Its one of those times when I am engulfed by blues.

Country roads, take me home to the place I belong..

Every man is both Judas and Jesus

H told me once,it does not matter if gifts are lost but the words should not be lost.
I felt that it was true.
But H these days seems to have turned stranger to his own words.

There is a thick fog settled on my head when it comes to professional and personal issues.
I feel suffocated in the darkness around and wish that things were clearer.

All of us know whats right and whats wrong,
& what needs to be ideally done.
But still,

Why do we deviate from the 'right' way?

Why do we procrastinate instead of finishing things in time?

Why is there so much of disorder i.e. second law of thermodynamics?

Why I am blogging and not working :|

Tom Sawyer, a fictional character in Twain's short story (Whitewashing a fence) indeed ought to be a philosopher.

Please refer to: http://www.pbs.org/marktwain/learnmore/writings_tom.html

You are trying to cross the bridge before even reaching it- Hg

I love Sunday columns by Jug Suraiya.
One of his latest masterpiece. I somehow found it romantic and cute.

Man in a hurry
Looking back, you'd wonder what the hurry was at that time. Trouble was, ‘at that time' wasn't ‘at that time' at that time. It was right then. And right then he was in a hurry. And all the bloody relatives didn't help. The flat was full of them. A droll assortment of uncles; anthologies of aunts, each with stories about things he'd said or done when he was ever so little, and look at him now, all grown up, on this big day; a slyness of cousins in murmured conspiracies.

What was it that they were whispering about anyway, silly grins on their faces? He didn't have to ask. He knew. It was him. Now and then one would call out to him, amidst much laughter, to come and join them. But he couldn't. He was too tightly wound up, a watch-spring coiled too often, all that morning, the past week, the past month, ever since the date had been fixed. Time had become fitful, a fickle fever that came and went. Sometimes minutes, hours, days sped by, skittering out of sight. Other times, seconds crawled like ants on sweaty skin.

He went to see if he could hurry up lunch. He wasn't hungry himself, hadn't been for days, appetite too slow to catch up with the haste he was in. But all the guests had to be fed before they could set off. And a suspicion told him that getting them fed wasn't going to be easy. It wasn't. Lunch wasn't ready. It wouldn't be ready for an hour. What was his hurry, anyway? Loud chuckles. Uncles, aunts, cousins, even the maharaj, hired for the occasion, loin-clothed, sacred-threaded, so thin after a lifetime of cooking for others that you could count every finger of your hands on his ribs.

Finally they sat for lunch, men in one room, women in the other, seated on wooden patlas on the floor, thalis in front of them, the old maharaj stooping and bobbing to serve each one, a stork in quicksand. Everything seemed in slow motion. Finally he pushed aside his half-finished thali and announced he was going to change; he didn't want to be late; 3 o'clock was the appointed time. Don't worry, she won't run away; she'll wait for you, a cousin rallied. Uncles guffawed and aunts smirked. He got changed and returned; they were still eating, prolonging it.

All right; I'll go on my own, he said, and went down to the car. Holy shit. The car. Ribbons, balloons, flowers. It looked like a Diwali hamper on wheels. Take them off, he told the driver. Can't; your uncles put them there, sniggered the driver. Let's go, said the man in a hurry, cursing his inability to drive. Can't, repeated the driver. You have to wait for the others; you can't go on your own. If you don't start the car, you're sacked, said the hurry man. The sound of the engine brought everyone down in a gratifying rush.

The cavalcade started. Traffic was light, the distance short. They reached at five to three. Relief flooded him. He'd made it. He was on time. He wasn't. He was at least an hour too early. Traditionally, the man always arrives late, to make the other side wait. So the other side is never ready by the official time. From behind the closed door, muted shrieks. Ohmigod, he's here already! How could he be? He's not supposed to be here till at least 4! Surrounded by querulous uncles and told-you-so cousins, he stood there on the landing, stiff and stranded in his brand new silk achkan, feeling like the biggest idiot on earth and happy to be so, till, at last, the door opened. It was 3.30.

Last month, it was 40 years to that day. Why were you in such a hurry? asks Bunny. Seems silly now, she adds. Not at all; it's given me a 30-minute bonus added to those 40 years, I reply.

Things change. Change is the only Universal Constant. It surprises me how often people like me despite knowing a few universal truths , strongly wish that things over time stay same. It is analogous to how mortal people wish to live forever.

People don't stay the people they were and you wish them to be. Your best friend over a period of time turns no less than a stranger, and you cannot exercise the liberties you once enjoyed. It hurts, badly.

I wish I never got so close to few people. I am scared of eventually getting hurt.

There is a very thin line between sanity and insanity.
Between right and wrong.
Between morality and immorality.

How often does one be tormented by both angels and demons at the same time..

One moment your thoughts could mirror a superhero and the other moment you could turn into a villain.Somehow, I cannot stop thinking about a short story I read in tenth standard, Michaelangelo. Every man is both Judas and Christ.

I am my perspective.

I resolve to not complain but then fall back on the same complaining track . There are times when loneliness gets to your bones. A couple of years back, when there were so many people to fall back upon , I failed to realize the worth. Now, it seems that time is laughing at me and teasing my loneliness.

I do not know what or how exactly but ,I want things to change, sooner the better. I changed from being a believer of the God to a non-believer. If there is any thing that could reinforce my belief in God , then it would have to be this long-awaited change.

	Difficult times ,Rough patches, everywhere. A homeless couple 'living' in a car parked in front of my house or myself endlessly thinking about future, next strategic step ? Who scores a point?

Let it go

Sometimes, in life one has no option but to let it go.

It all started with the rear toothache. I tumbled coffee & hot chocolate down my stomach to satiate my sweet tooth and kill tooth ache. There was immediately a soothing effect but inevitably I fell prey to caffeine effect. Its 2 am and I am wide awake. After chatting with a couple of my college friends, feeling of aimlessness in life has intensified.

"I don't know what I want to do in my life" was the punchline of our conversations. I wish I never grew old and remained a carefree kid with plump pink cheeks. There was an immediate need to share my woes and worries with my sole mate who uncomplainingly listens to me and here I am.

Phd- Carefree grad student's life which is fun if you have nice company and your research topic keeps you interested. Probably more satisfying than a job. Money Matters ? But what after a Phd ?

Job- A different life. Trapped for ever. $$.

I feel so exhausted after this endless thinking . Caffeine has dissolved into my blood and taken care of. More later on this topic. I will retire by taking a book in my lap.

Lost innocence

Child like innocence is lost to wear the gown of maturity & tread on the roads of reality.

" The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience"

- To Kill a Mocking bird

Alma-mat(t)ers!!

I am definitely intimidated by the recent changes introduced in the JEE system, "supposedly" for the "betterment of country".
Arjun Singh has had his way of increasing the total number of seats, more IITs , reservation of 50% for lower caste students. I see these changes as nothing more than a cheap political move to tighten reins on his kursi by pandering to people. This move has had devastating repercussions of lowering down the cut offs to single digits for various subjects. Cut off for physics brought down to ZERO! And five and three are the numbers for Chemistry and Mathematics. Please refer to this nonsensical article: Article1

Are you kidding me? Why even have an exam ?
I was open to the idea of increasing the number of seats or having reservations but not to a deplorable number of 50 % of seats.

Adding to this ridiculous piece of news is another crappy news which reviews the changes proposed by IITM's Dean and Director. What angers me more is that this comes from within IIT administration : Article2

IITM's Dean wants to get away with JEE? WTF! And, the explanation given is to increase the number of ''female students'' through direct admissions.

IITM's Director wants to get away with the proliferation of coaching classes who prepare students mechanically to crack JEEs by allowing only top 1% from state boards to appear for the JEE exam. I totally appreciate his concern but this concern definitely is not the urgency of the hour. There are other important issues weighing down the system to be tackled and worried about. Coaching classes have been the talk of the town for the last ten years. The Director of IITM says that he is looking for students with raw intelligence and not the students mechanically maneuvered to crack JEE by coaching classes. Well, a laudable concern but the idea of letting only the top 1% from various state boards to appear for JEEs is completely ridiculous as the latter idea targets the students who fare well in class by cramming techniques and have been mechanically trained to do so by a different set of coaching classes. The element of mechanical training still remains. The very idea of "raw-intelligence" seems defeated. For me, it is like saying in order to lose weight lets get away with potatoes but wait nothing is wrong with having icecream . Mr MS Ananth's idea will just result in mushrooming up of different kind of coaching classes catering to other needs. Coaching classes will invariably spring up no matter what changes are made, it seems more logical to come up with ideas which will make JEE unpredictable to coaching classes . Also, different state boards have different syllabus and different marking schemes. How will Mr. Ananth's new idea ensure the equality of opportunity to students?

Enough damage has already been done to the IIT system by an unwanted government interference. Things like changing the pattern of questions every year thereby making it unpredictable for coaching classes and taking them by a surprise, introducing the concept of interviews , basing exam papers on school boards in order to not let the 12 year schooling go down the drain , are a few things that come to my mind which will retain system's quality inspite of increasing the intake by a humongous number.

I found a sunny lonely corner in the garden of my office to escape the dreariness of my office. It was warmer and nicer outside. Smiling, I cushioned myself on the luscious mellow grass, facing the sun, sitting by the wall. A dense tangled canopy of trees, directly in front of me mirrored the state of my mind. There was a thick unsettling fog in my head. I was so numbed by the unusual number of thoughts racing across my mind that I could not capture my own thoughts. I was confused. I was cold. I was restless. I did not understand the turmoil and turbulence stirring up my mind and I still do not.
My insides were shrieking, wanting to run away as fast as possible as far as I could to no man’s land and be all by myself. In a weak moment, I found myself flooded by old memories, all of them pouncing at me, and I was falling deeper and deeper into the chasm of unforgettable memories.
I woke up and drank water

I started reading ' A Short History of Nearly Everything' and immediately got hooked to it. The book starts with a discussion of atoms and how zillions of these tiny particles combine unknowingly in a cosmic effort to create us. Bill Bryson puts it as "....how we went from there being nothing at all to there being something, and then how a little of that something turned into us , and also what happened in between and since." This is, in short, tall order. I can not wait to finish this book.

All my friends , please gift me Bill Bryson's books!

Books and more books

I have a lot of free time on myself these days owing to a jobless internship in summer break. Most of my time goes into catching up with a lot of books and Google Reader. I have my all my fingers in the pie. I am reading Shantaram , Ring for Jeeves , My name is Red & Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy at the same time and have tons of other books strewn everywhere in my room to read sometime. I absolutely love it! Books and more books.

parliament game

I take pleasure to report WTF news in Amit Varma’s style (India Uncut blog).

The following was said by Opposition leader L.K. Advani after the UPA government scored trust vote in parliament today.

"There is something like numerical legitimacy and moral legitimacy. The government scored the numerical victory but lost on moral grounds. Earlier there were only suspicions but today's episode has validated the fact that money was used."

We made an impromptu decision to go to an Indian Restaurant in the office yesterday. My boss agreed to give me a ride to the Restaurant. Owing to the fact that he is 70 years old, he drove as slow as 40-50 miles/hour giving us all the time we needed to discuss everything ranging from Indian food, weddings and vacation trips. It was amusing to learn that he loved Indian food to such an extent so as to keep microwavable papads on his desk. Besides papad, he expressed his liking for chick pea’s curry, chicken tikka masala, samosas and naan. I was pretty impressed with his knowledge of terminology of Indian food. The gastronomic conversation was followed by a discussion of a striking contrast between Indian and American weddings. We talked about an elaborate three or four day procession as compared to their four hour ceremony, red silk embroidered sari to a white laced wedding gown and a few other wedding practices. The conversation then hopped on to vacation trips and I was overwhelmed to learn that he had vacationed four times in Africa, two times in Greece, once in Europe, one cruise trip to Bahamas and one to Alaska and many other places. He told me stories of smothering leopards, guzzling elephants , rattling snakes of Africa, rocky terrain and sparse vegetation of Greece, beyond beautiful Greek islands , bland Greek food, flame cakes of straussburg , cuckoo clocks of frieburg and many such things and places, alike. He asked me if I had been to the Himalayas, or the tea plantations of Assam or the coffee plantations of Coorg or Corbett National park or The Taj Mahal.

I added these places to my existential list of places to visit before while I live kind of thingy and prioritized them on my list. A wise saying, one needs to discover one’s one territory before exploring the world.

Pappu Naach Nahi Sakta

A Masterpiece!

Soldiers

On the 4th of July weekend I went to send off Divya's friend. While we were standing near the kiosk, waiting for her friend to check in , there was a loud buzz of claps . Amused, I looked around hoping to catch a glimpse of a Celebrity or something of that sort , but there was no one around thereby leaving the mystery of claps unsolved. After leaving her friend at the security gate and while on our way back I again heard similar clapping sounds. I went around the place and this time I saw them, the US soldiers marching towards the security gate . They were uniformed in cream and brown military garbs with guns in their hands and a stern look on their faces. While everyone around stood, waving and clapping incessantly, showing their appreciation for them, their faces betrayed no emotion.Their faces conveyed a stern indifference. I can not possibly imagine the experiences and stories which lead to such a face. My respect for them multiplied umpteen times and I bowed down and saluted them.

Just came across this article:Long Goodbye http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Opinion/Editorial/The_Long_Goodbye/rssarticleshow/3229471.cms
by Bachi Karkaria which spoke of the very same US soldiers at Atlanta's airport and I experienced a Dejavu.

Rainbow

Is it not strange that when I have all the time in the world then I find no time to blog at all ...
Nothing much is happening these days except the usual internship routine. And, besides that catching up on lots of books which makes me feel good and not completely wasted.My internship is almost drawing towards an end and I am looking forward to get back to my research work. One of my friends aptly commented that it takes a worse experience to realize the worth of what one has. Life dances through different shades of hues....Violets...Reds.One can experience a wide spectrum of emotions ranging from loathing a person to adoring him. After about a time period of one year, I finally started liking my research work.

I am rereading Siddhartha and came across this wise line which says that the truth and the opposite of every truth is completely true.

Rainbow is a symbol of multiculturalism and thus appropriately symbolically represents the gay pride. Witnessed the gay pride via a gay parade on 5th of July. I was stupefied by the unfettered spirit and enthusiasm which marched ahead inspite of heavy downpour of that day. And, I was equally amazed by the acceptance of people who tirelessly cheered for them. Here are a few pics:



Just as you are. Loved this line. And lying around the rainbow flag are a few colorful beads which were being thrown at audience along with other freebies.


Are they trying to represent different colours of rainbow through their fancy garbs?
The board says " Beyond the Broke back Mountain" . Also the tent on the right side shows four legs.


As everyone can see the umbrellas to shield away from rain and thus can imagine the enthusiasm of people. Seven cheers to Rainbow!

Lean meat

How much of it is the truth? Nowadays newspapers publish anything and everything :| Beef-eating is so much of a taboo in an average Hindu household that most of them are likely to be shocked to know that beef was a normal article of Brahmin diet. To serve a feast of beef to guests, especially revered guests like sages, was a matter of honour for the Aryan gentry. The great sage Yajnavalkya is said to have had a particular fondness for the tender flesh of the milch cow. Outrageous? Blame Kosambi.

Sitting on a fence

What if you realize half the way down the road that you don’t anymore want to tread on the path, chosen after much thought and deliberation, and desperately want to run down the other path? What when one doesn’t anymore have the choice of reverting things after the above realization?

IF ONLY.
If only, Butterfly effect was Reality, so that I could make virtual choices to go on to define Reality of my life.

P.S. I am right now in the office cubicle with a nice desk, with a spacious drawer which holds my Shantaram smugly. Let me add convenient location to comfortably , occassionally , steal a glance at a page or two.

P.S.S. How many movies did I name in this post?

Nothingness

This post comes out after suffering from absolutely-nothing-to-do syndrome for most of the day. An Unsuitable job. Day by day, I keep getting convinced about the unsuitability of a stagnant desktop job. I am an intern at a company called Yokogawa Corporation of America. Yes, Dear Reader, it is a Japanese company which invariably at this point is reminding you of sushi and sumo (Yokojuna anyone?). Just for clarification, it is not anything to do with wrestling but it is a well known(apparently) Process Controls and an Instrumentation company. Nightmares of Gudi anyone? Geeks and nerds who spend most of their time slogging in labs, sure, must have heard of this obscure company. For most of the day everyday, I am in front of a computer 24 \3 hours, online (yes,inseparable gtalk) but to bring in the irony , I don’t talk/chat. I don’t blog in office. I don’t catch up on the most gossipy –glitzy news of the town. I don’t orkut or facebook (Just realized the addition of two more verbs). Okay, in nutshell, I do not indulge in any of the normal activities which a human being involuntarily ends up doing when in front of a computer e.g. orkut etc. I have been entitled to carry out some research work which involves groping through the dark passages of a 300 pages fat manual. My thick fat Japanese Reading. You do not want me to elaborate on the details of boredom faced by a person when subjected to a torturous reading of a big-fat book. Thanks for commiserating with me. For, the past one week, all I have been trying in a vain attempt is to finish this manual and failing miserably. I have to make it through this arduous task of reading this manual to get my hands on a ‘real’ project. To think of it now, the word ‘real’ now seems nothing more than a fleeting ‘illusion’ which also reminds me of a wisely read in my favouritest and bestest book .

Snowman:What is Reality?
Crake: Reality is Bogus.

-Oryx and Crake

At a point of time, the feeling of nothingness multiplied and amplified as if magically it had perfected amoebiosis and then I found solace by drowning myself in countless doses of chais and kaafis. I started devising new ways of whiling away my time while trying to be unnoticed at the same time. Taking printout of crosswords and then going out under the excuse of taking a break of nothing less than 30 minutes at a time and like. Frequented my purposeless visits to restrooms. Making countless detours of the office. While touring embark on office mates privacy for a second and seeing myself in them. Everyone around would be secretly surfing, g-chating and things alike. Eating as and when possible, chewing food this time, unlike swallowing, as taught to toddlers. Penning down random artless pictures with horns. Planning out my evening’s rigorous (apparently) workout. That’s the only thing I look forward to these days, sadly.

Nothingness ultimately materialized this blog after a long time on a good note. On a serious note, I am more keen on pursuing a Phd in future.

Ode to Oryx and Crake.

I read Oryx and Crake last week. I have not moved on. The book has had huge repercussions on me. I am trying to move on but I can not get out the chasm of book. Before I give this book to Divya tomorrow,I want to write down few excerpts from this book.

Crake made the bones of the children out of the coral on the beach,and then he made their flesh out of a mango.But the children of Oryx hatched out of an egg, a giant egg laid by Oryx herself.Actually she laid two eggs:one full of animals and birds and fish,and the other full of words.But the egg full of words hateched first,and the children of Crake had already been created by then,and they'd eaten up all the words beacuse they were hungry,and so there were no words left when the second egg hateched out.And that is why animals can't talk

The story bears testimony to the old adage,"Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.” . Thats the take away from this book. A must read book to discover the woven magic by Oryx,Crake and the Snowman

I have been unfathomably lazy these few months. But just for record--Savannah trip, India, Smoky mountains. Also, a beautiful poem I picked up from Adidas's profile.

Many times I've not the courage
To ask if all I did was okay
And even if I do I've not the knowledge
To know if truth comes my way
Because the more bitter the truth
The more strength you need to speak out
The more caution in the air and warmth in words
The weak avoid it without doubt
How many times have you thought
That something you did was amiss?
How many times did you make it upWith a hug, and sealed with a kiss?
See the wonders of open-heart-glue...
If paint can kiss then you can too...

Within you without you

We were talking-about the space between us all
And the people-who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth-then it's far too late-when they pass away.
We were talking-about the love we all could share-when we find it
To try our best to hold it there-with our love
With our love-we could save the world-if they only knew.
Try to realize it's all within yourself
No-one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small,
And life flows ON within you and without you.
We were talking-about the love that's gone so cold and the people,
Who gain the world and lose their soul-
They don't know-they can't see-are you one of them?
When you've seen beyond yourself-then you may find, peace of mind,
Is waiting there-
And the time will come when you see
we're all one, and life flows on within you and without you.

Salwar Kameez Party

Puerto Rico

To come soon.

"If protesting against having a nuclear bomb implanted in my brain is anti-Hindu and anti-national, then I secede. I hereby declare myself an independent, mobile republic. I am a citizen of the earth. I own no territory. I have no flag. I'm female, but have nothing against eunuchs. My policies are simple. I'm willing to sign any nuclear non-proliferation treaty or nuclear test ban treaty that's going. Immigrants are welcome. You can help me design our flag"

" Yes, I've heard -- the bomb is in the Vedas [ancient Hindu scriptures]. It might be, but if you look hard enough you'll find Coke in the Vedas too. That's the great thing about all religious texts. You can find anything you want in them -- as long as you know what you're looking for."

" Reading the papers, it was often hard to tell when people were referring to Viagra (which was competing for second place on the front pages) and when they were talking about the bomb -- "We have superior strength and potency." (This was our Minister for Defence after Pakistan completed its tests.) "These are not just nuclear tests, they are nationalism tests," we were repeatedly told."

"The nuclear bomb is the most anti-democratic, anti-national, anti-human, outright evil thing that man has ever made. If you are religious, then remember that this bomb is Man's challenge to God. It's worded quite simply: We have the power to destroy everything that You have created."

"If you're not religious, then look at it this way. This world of ours is four thousand, six hundred million years old. It could end in an afternoon. "

-Arundhati Roy(The End of Imagination)

Night out for an experiment.

Two Granola bars.
Cold of the night.
Staring at the LCD screen with bleary red eyes.

The Hungry tide. Flipped a few pages through the tide country and I grew hungry for more reading and some food. A seductive book. A book which has sustained my interest for a long period in the last few months.The author has made good use of his imagination and managed to put up a well woven story. I am yet to figure out what is it that has piqued my interest in this book but definitely something is different with this book. I have finished almost half of it and I want the other half to be equallly interesting.
Experiments. Sampling at an interval of every two hours for two days continuously. Driving me insane already. Sleepy and frustrated. Giving vent to my frustration by blabbering to my blog and privacy.
I don't understand why departments have no relaxing rooms or couches! They want you to slog without providing any comforts :-(. I am missing my bed and pillows so badly.And of course my sleep!

Can two people stay happily ever for ever?

In my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you exactly for what you are.God mood bad, mood,ugly,pretty.The right person will still think that the sun shines on your ass.That is the person worth sticking with.

--Juno

Things I don't like about myself

Absolutely Nothing ,Colon D

Religion

I was having a conversation with my lab mate yesterday and the conversation took its turns from the laboratory enzymatic methods to something as highly unrelated as Religion and God. He is a christian from the Roman Catholic Church. For those ignorant like me , there are four different churches in US. Roman Cathlic Church, Methodist Church and few other names (which I don't really bother about). He differentiated between these churches by putting forth a few rules propagated by the churches like, Abortion is considered a sin in RCC but it is completely allowed in the Methodist church. And there were such similar rules in all these four churches.

Don't we have the free will to decide what is best suited for us ? There might exist cases when one has no other option but to abort a child.May be he/she is not in a position to support the child. Is it not the couple which is in a best position to decide what is right for them and what is right for the child.

I immediately asked him that by imposing these rules on the name of the God like," One should not practice Abortion ", aren't we curbing the free will to which everyone on the world is entitled . He thought for a while and said every one is corruptible.

How corruptible can a man get? Has the corruptibility reached a threshold wherein a man is willing to trade his free will to the rules imposed by some hypothetical body.

Every religion comes with its own set of rules.I haven't myself read about different religions. Okay , I was lazy about it but I am glad that I did not entangle myself in something which makes no sense to me at this age.I understand that if there are no rules at all there will be no order and it may lead to a chaos but at the same time I am more willing to follow these rules if I am given a logical reasoning for not following them and the harmful consequences rather than using the cover of God .

God will be unhappy if you don't follow this and you will face the wrath of his anger in hell. God wants you to do this and that.How can someone still expect me to fall for this.

My lab mate explained to me about the christianity and he brutally attacked the Islam Religion.I was so glad that I was not like him and that I was also not like most of the people who spend most of their time fighting under the name of Religion. I don't follow any religion as such, rather I am the most ignorant person when you want to discuss something about religion.

How difficult is it to ,"Live and Let Live"..

I do believe in the existence of the souce for the entire creation of universe as I fail to understand how even a simple cell which is the most complicated organism and the orderly storage of information came out of nothing or to put in better words was a product of a random collision.If you understand the complexity of the functions of a simple cell you can not help stop marvelling at it. Everything fits so well as if it was designed by a builder or if it was a programmed code. Are the buildings that we see around a result of a random process?

I crave Cadbury's tonight and miss people :-(

Musings

Life indeed teaches new lessons everyday. It is completely up to a person to pick cleverly what is best for him. Decisions are to be made everyday at every point, a herculean task. Enigmatic puzzle? Is it? My answer would have been positively yes if we reel back in the folds of time to touch upon this day of last year.The times when I used to complicate the simplest of situations, such a kid I was.I used to religiously brood over a situation as if I was on the verge of losing my life. Today the elusive answer to a not so simple questions simply hangs on to the two letters. It is all about taking the decision and sticking to it. All decisions are right!The consequences of a decision ,both the good and bad ones are eventually met.There is no losing out on anything.

There are no right and wrong choices.
At the end of the day, it all evens out.

Moving towards the bandwagon of maturity. A change from childish games of third year to meaningful bigtalks. To Books, Beatles and Bob Dylan. To Crosswords and Guitar. Waking from the dreamy fairy tales and serendipity encounters to step on to the realities of life. Realizing the importance of giving the maximum importance to thyself. Understanding that happenings in life are no less evanescent than the lifetime of a bubble. And after understanding ,trying to be neither very happy nor very sad at the daily encounters.Things change eventually.

For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

-Bob Dylan

For me, to be a writer is to acknowledge the secret wounds that we carry inside us, the wounds so secret that we ourselves are barely aware of them, and to patiently explore them, know them, illuminate them, to own these pains and wounds, and to make them a conscious part of our spirits and our writing.

Orhan Pamuk, Nobel Prize acceptance speech(2006)

Dialogues

The writer of this obscure blog fancies crazy things like Salsa , Enduro , touring new places on foot, night outs , Adventure. Some call it Adrenaline rush.
So ,this writer gathered up all the courage and she finally joined Salsa club with the ulterior motive of losing those extra calories.Extra calories are like your true friends ,they never seem to leave you!!To be also noted that the writer is a novice when it comes to complexities of life like dancing et al and therefore comrades are solemnly requested to not panic or to be shocked on the first sight.

First day.Excited. Learnt a few steps and probably caused a few tremors. After the first class.
A Dialogue between writer and her friend.

Shahana: Hey! So, How was your salsa class ?
Me: Oh, It was fun but..
Shahana: So,were there any hot firangs ?
Me:Tragedy of life!I did not get to dance with any firangs, there were so many desis!
Shahana: "Thats Georgia Tech for you ,my dear :P"
Me:Indian Ghetto,frown.

Inspite of such a big upheaval in life, the writer is still looking forward to the next class.

Another dialogue in a Grad student's life. The writer was in the computer cluster of her university trying to finish her assignment in the last moment.There was a novel with a green cover by Amitav Ghosh next to her on the desk.

Aparna: Hey, What is this green thing ?
Me: Hey, How are you,Whats up these days?
(We share Masters woes)
Aparna:Oh, life is bad but better than the last sem.I am drowned in research up to my neck.
Me:ummmm..hmmmm..(long thought-guilty)...Excellent! I was just reading this book by blah blah..
Aparna: WHAT!!!! Do you get time to do such things?!
Me: ummmmm...(I wanted to say,I hardly do any research work) but then out of embarrassment...oh I carry it with myself and read it whenever I get time..I know grad students have no time(lying to the core!)


To my shame, I have incorporated new ways of katoing lukkha in other forms like Guitar classes and crossword fever these days.
Upheavals,Upheavals,they are everywhere,Why escape them.

The Last time.

One does not realize the last time one gets to do something because in the action of moment one doesn't foresee the last time and hangs on to the hope of things lasting forever.Until one day, the hammer is thrown on your head and the end is declared.Then you recall your endeared last time and try to sink and come to terms with the last time.Pinch.Reality.Wake up.

blahblah

It is all about drawing lines and boundaries at the right time.Boundaries and lines to be not crossed. It is about taking decisions and standing by them. Decisions are hard to abide by but sooner they taken the better it is. At every path one has to take decisions , if something does not work out just kill it and go ahead.
I can't stop but repeating a few lines of this song.This song has become my mantra and has many golden lines. The limelight of the day are the following lines.

"Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts
Stop putting up with people who are reckless with yours"

BAZ LUHRMANN lyrics

100 % guilt free

1) It is okay to send hate mails once in a while.
2)It is fair to jump to horoscopes every day.
3)It is okay to ready your gym bag but fail when it comes to using the bag!
4)It is okay to overspend once in a month specially after traumatic qualifiers.
5)It is okay to lie to your advisor once in six months for the extra nap.
6) It is okay to watch Grey's Anatomy back to back on the weekend.
7) It is okay to pamper yourself on exotic smelling fragrances.
8)It is okay to spend money for visiting places like Puerto Rico.
9) It is okay to splurge on red luscious strawberries.
10) It is okay to bitch about a roomie who mentally harasses you and tries to dominate.

It is disheartening to learn that 3500 calories is equivalent to one pound!!

:-)

Anatomy

We try to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant, that,

Knowing is better than wondering,
Waking is better than sleeping.

We have to take our own decisions, we have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons.

And that even the biggest failure and the world 's worst mistake beats the hell out of never trying.