Sometimes, I just want some things so much that I just can not stop thinking about them. I have had this stupid fuzzy feeling in my stomach, the entire day. Very nervous.
This is about, Chandler, AZ.

Growing old(er)

I am in such a sappy mood, totally in for back-to-back episodes of Grey's Anatomy after a really long time. I almost forgot birthday of one of my close friends..and that got me into thinking about all this..

My friends are getting engaged/married
Everyone is focused on her/his career
My friends are getting busier, get to talk to them less frequently

Everyone is moving on..

Something else on my mind,
"Is life about following the normal course or finding a course, each one her/his own.."
Does one force something to happen or you wait till things happen..
I am waiting to find these answers for a very long time and that itself it may be against the very nature of really trying hard to find answers.

More on swimming. I went on Thursday and pulled of twelve laps in about forty minutes. I plan to go tomorrow morning to keep up the rhythm of my lungs.

I feel so hazed out today, time to take off and read books.

Simple pleasures of life

1) I have hydrophobia.
2) & I feel suffocated inside water in no time

Given (1) and (2) one can second guess how I must struggle at swimming. I have been trying for long to coordinate breathing with my hand and leg movements. Though I seemed to have 'mentally' grasped the breathing technique,and I apply it sometimes, but I start suffocating before long.

I vowed to myself today that, do or die, I will push myself to swim atleast twenty lengths of the pool. Voila, I was able to complete ten laps! And, fairly judging myself I swam decently. I decided that I will keep a count on my laps for the rest of summer and try to go for swimming thrice a week. The measly achievement of completing ten laps made me feel proud like nothing before.

Simple joys of life go a long way!

Mozart for Dummies

There I go, 'Mozart for Dummies'. A starting.

My 'golden thing to do today' as recommended is/was to listen Mozart's Requiem without any interruption. I so need 'Music for Dummies'.

Pearl of Wisdom

It is the nature of a man as he grows older to protest against change, particularly change for the better by John Steinbeck

Camping 101

I recently went on a wonderful camping trip to the Rocky Mountains National Park with one of my close junior college friends, Supriya. It turned out to be quite an expensive trip as everything was planned in the last minute which is not surprising as I was one of the subjects.

It was a two day trip and we camped, hiked, and river rafted. It turned out to be very hectic for a two day trip but was great fun nevertheless.

This also happened to be the first time, we set up a tent, started fire, grilled, all on our own without any prior experience. With scant knowledge and inadequate preparation on our part, the camping turned out to be quite a challenging experience but for the presence of helpful campers around us. The adventurous experience made me swear that I would go and make a note on camping basics.Some of the requisites and pointers for camping:

1) First and foremost, make a reservation for a campground. All of the campground were full in the RMNP when we visited!
2) Make a reservation for camping gear - sleeping bags (2/person if the place gets extremely cold (check weather)), sleeping pads/ tent pad FOR SURE (prevents cold from seeping in, tent gear-poles, and the tent dome. MAKE SURE THAT POLES ARE OF RIGHT SIZE THAT FIT THE TENT DOME OR THE DISASTER BELOW COULD HAPPEN. Also, make sure that you have nails to prevent the tent from collapsing.



That is our measly tent. We managed to entertain campers around us with our unique tent. The bugger gave us the wrong (long) poles and did not give any nails. See, how the long poles are hanging out of our tent. We conveniently assumed that everything rented out would be alright. If it was not for this helpful old man below, we would have shivered to death. He was obviously a pro at camping and somehow managed to wrap, twist, bend, and make something habitable out of the wrong combinations.



Another interesting thing about this pic is that one can see a lightning scar on the tree :-D. I thought that was very cool.

3) For grilling/cooking - Firewood, fire starter, tongs(a MUST), ingredients for s'mores, barbeque kit for pros.

And, there we go, the camp fire and cooking :-). We grilled marinated chicken, mushrooms, and bell peppers. And of course s'mores. Camping is incomplete without s'mores. Btw, that is Supriya standing by the tent.



4) Safety/ Wildlife - We were warned of bear attacks and advised to not leave any food remnants in the camping area. I recently heard of bear attacks at the Yellowstone national park in the daily new. So a bear pepper spray may be a good thing to add to the camping basics list.Oh, and also an insect repellent is a must.

This is after the sunset. This photograph struck as very serene to me. The moon just looked lovely that night beside uncountable stars. It was extremely tranquil that night but for the fear of bears.

Random stumbling

Before I forget, today I discovered the following:

Guernica - a famous painting by Pablo Picasso depicting attack on Basque City of Guernica by Germans in 1937. A timeless piece of art on war.

Louise Nevelson: A famous sculptor who redefined the roles of women in sculpture in 1950's

I also stumbled on Monteverdi's works but could not make much sense of music/operas. I should watch an Opera soon.

Such humbling numbers

My previous post stands totally corrected. I accepted offer from University of Wisconsin-Madison finally.I fluctuate a lot between extremes. Anyways this post is not on rambling about my decision.

Of course I do not have anything to do at work and I am reading a book by Muhammad Yunnus, "Banker to the Poor". In the sixth chapter of the book, he is talking about how motivated his bank managers and how they chose the job at the Grameen bank as opposed to other high paying private bank jobs. In order to substantiate the commitment and dedication of his workers, he gives an example of what a typical working day was like for his bank workers in 1995 which I have reproduced below:

Name: Akhtar Hossain
Age:27
Monthly Salary: 2,200 taka($66)including housing, commuting and medical allowances
Bonus: One month's salary paid on each of the two Eid holidays

6:00 am, Akhtar wakes up, washes, prays and eats breakfast.
7:00 am, Akhtar fetches his bicycle,other documents,and carrying bag from the branch and pedals to a center.
7:30 am, Forty borrowers await Akhtar at the center. He collects repayments from them.
9:30 am, Akhtar pedals of to another center for his second meeting. He visits 400 such centers over the week and is responsible for collecting repayments for general, seasonal or house loans.
11 am, Akhtar visits borrowers at home and offers advice. This is a critical step to keep track of borrowers' needs and problems.
Noon, Akhtar is back at the office. He fills out all reporting forms and fills out ledger.
1:30 pm - 2:00 pm, Akhtar takes a lunch break with his fellow workers.
2:00 pm, Funds collected in the morning are disbursed as new loans in the evening.
3:00 pm, Once the loan disbursements are finished,Akhtar and his fellow office mates record the new loan information in the ledgers.
4:30 pm,Akhtar takes a tea break and chats with his friends
5:00-6:30 pm,Akhtar visits a center that is experiencing problems with loans or organizes an educational outreach program for children.
7 pm, Akhtar returns to the office, finishes some paperwork and retires for the day.



I melted when I realized that a typical worker would work for 12 hours/day for six days at a week for a monthly salary of sixty six dollars. Such humbling numbers.

I love biology. I think that some of the most ingenious engineered mechanisms exist within a human body at cellular levels. The complexity and beauty of it has left me mesemerized and awed every time I have thought about it.
While at a dinner conversation, when someone mentioned gene regulation, I tried to dig in my rusted brain about specifics of gene regulation. I tried to visually imprint the mechanism in brain but sadly my memory failed me. There are times when I get extremely excited about science and I want to retake old courses and take some new ones to learn and appreciate all such ingenious mechanisms. I like diversity of ideas/topics/challenges/learning.
I know that my interest will not be sustained in any one project for a long time. I like discussing or learning about different ideas/project. I can not pinpoint myself on a specific problem like say determining sub-sub-unit of a part of a protein which is expressed in an extremely rare event.After a sleepless yesterday night and several others before, I have decided to go to University of Pennsylvania (this is backup as of now) for my PhD. There are two important deciding factors:
1) Infectiously energetic young professor at UPenn who is looking at a project which requires a student to work on several aspects of a project during the 5-year period. So, this assures me that I will not get bored or lose my interest. And UPenn has great materials research facilities. I will not get to work on cells but if I decide to go to UPenn, I will take many biology courses to make up for it. That said, Wisconsin Madison has excellent professors and has an excellent Chem-E dept.Just that none of the professors are offering what I think I want to work on.
2) I am a city person and felt at home in Philadelphia in comparison to Madison. In my imagination of Madison, it is going to be beautiful with two lakes, four seasons etc. but going by a gut feeling,I did not feel at home in Madison.

I am glad I can express myself more clearly.Listening to Pianoman currently and feel at peace for a change.

Casablanca- Frank Sinatra

Aha! Old is gold. I discovered 'Frank Sinatra' when I watched Casablanca y'day. I loved every bit of this movie. Every dialogue seemed so meaningful that I felt like listening to every bit again and again. I got hooked to the song "As time goes by..". This song has such beautiful lyrics:

.....
You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by....

This song led me to other songs of Frank Sinatra like 'That's life', 'My Way' etc. I am so glad I discovered FS. Feel blissful today. lol

I really don't understand why I can not sleep beyond 7:30 am on holidays and while at work, I need to have two doses of coffee to stay awake!

What have I been upto lately- Visited two univesities past month - University of Wisconsin Madison and University of Pennsylvania as a prospective PhD student. Over the flight layovers and delays, I have been able to complete reading four books in a month which is an achievement for me.

Diamond and Dust by Anita Desai: A collection of short stories on life transitioning between US and India. Love Jhumpa Lahiri's writing style more.

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens: Thought this was an amazing read but a diffcult one. I had to pore through this book for a couple of months before I finished reading this one. Made me introspect a lot about my expectations out of life.

Waiting by Ha Jin: I enjoy reading books on different countries. This one is a fiction based out of life in the communist China. A very mature interesting story on post-marital life. The main character in this plot waits eighteen years to get a divorce and marry his girlfriend only to find out that his second marriage was not working out. Would recommend it to people who cringe about being single.

Space between us by Thrity umrigar: An extremely moving story told out of any household in India. Based on the bonding between the house maid and the house wife against the background of problems in India.

wants to run away to a place where she does not have to make decisions anymore.

More books

I am trying to read three books these days, Great Expectations, Diamond and Dust and The Space Between Us.

An excerpt from the 'The Space Between Us' that I read a couple of hours back. These are the voices stirring up in the head of newly wed, Sera, when she finds out that Feroz, her husband, is not what she thought he was like-



So, the most striking line that I was not able to capture as I was trying to capture the background...." She had the let the steam escape from the boiling pot of her feelings. What she actually wanted to say was , " I love life" and instead she said, " I love you, Feroz" and at that moment, betrayed her feelings."


I can not wait to finish this one, would have done so if I had it with me. I have been struggling to finish Great Expectations for more than a month now. Diamond and Dust is a collection of short stories by Anita Desai.

Book clicking

This is an excerpt from "Post American World" by Fareed Zakharia. I had to struggle to get through this book as is the case with non-fiction, usually, and I admit I had to cheat. I found the two excerpts from this book interesting and worth being captured. The second one being:



I have one more interesting click on 'Greece' just that it require some neck craning.

Gibber Gibber

One of those weekends when I felt lonely and needed a heavy dosage of 'Sunscreen'. Not that I was all by myself, I had good company. I watched movies, went to the mall, usual weekendish activities. But just as sometimes, when you have everything and you still miss something. That something, my figment of imagination, so fluid like, constantly reshaping itself and haunting me all the time.

I had ample time on Sunday all to myself, to think. I am hoping, my head was not seating devil. Life is a stage and we all have a role to play , so said a wise man. For some reason I feel, I have been playing an optimistic fool's role all this while, living in denial, believing all is good and everything will be alright. I so need to step out of my dreamy world and face reality. Sure as hell, I can not plan my life but that does not mean I continue living in virtual reality hoping things take care of themselves.

Three Cups of Tea

I read this book called , "Three Cups of Tea" which is a biography on Greg Mortenson's determined efforts to empower the country of Pakistan by building schools in rugged and hilly, neglected areas of Pakistan. It is perhaps the most selfless book I have ever read. While on his mountaineering trip to K2, he stumbles on the abject neglected conditions of people living nearby in mountains. Although, he fails in his mission to summit the top of K2, he goes back to Berkeley with a promise of coming back to Pakistan to build schools. The rest of the book is no less than a miracle. His efforts to fund raise money for building some 60 odd schools, vocational centers, activity centers for women is beyond words! He stays away from his wife and kids, neglects his health and is also the target of hate letters from thousands of americans during 9/11 attacks. But, he still relentlessly continues his extraordinary efforts to promote peace though education.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die - George Bernard Shaw

Too many ironies!

I am tired of ironies humoring me!

Toyota recalls

Speeding ticket

Same apartment complex

Seems like the end is nowhere close.